Of Playdates and Big Fears

January 22, 2015

It is almost the end of Lauren and Luke’s summer holidays in Australia. They tell me they are enjoying their holidays. Lauren had her first playdate (ever!) last week – yes! We managed to arrange one! January 15.

A lovely friend from her old class, 5J, with a wonderfully understanding mother. Thanks Erica!

So, Brooke came over to watch the new Disney movie called “Big Hero 6”. Of course Lauren had already had a preview of the movie and had to be reminded many times to not let the cat/s out of the bag, and narrate Brooke through the whole movie.

Anyways, the date was a decent success. Brooke and Lauren ended up watching two movies, since their conversation time ended in about 5 minutes after the first movie. They had nachos and pizza and then we said "see you at school"!

Meeting 7 with Dr Johann

Lauren’s latest visit to Dr Johann had her working on the table below.

The purpose of this exercise: How to change negative thoughts to positive thoughts.

This came about because Lauren has a big (gigantous) fear and dislike of water. She thinks she will drown in the pool. She tells us it is dirty. She hates the feeling of being splashed even with sprinkles of water. So she shuns swimming as much as possible.

Kevin and I, on the other hand are trying to get Lauren to understand that she must learn to swim, because it is a life-saving skill. She does not need to love it, but she should try to live with it.

So, for many years, we have been trying to get Lauren to swim – with and without her swimming cap, with and without her float. One time, she tried swimming without the float, and she felt herself sinking. That freaked her out even more!

And then there is the vomiting after the swimming. Intense emotions of triumph that she has managed to swim without her cap and float, coupled with even more intense anxiety…results in Lauren rushing to the toilet to vomit after her swims.

But she has agreed she will continue trying. She is a real trooper. Such resilience. And I must remind myself to continue to encourage her and be more patient.

So, our task the next two weeks is to identify negative thoughts eg.

I might drown if I swim at the deep end without my float.

My book will be destroyed if my friend touches it.

The movie I am watching will be gone if my brother uses the laptop

We discuss with Lauren the process that leads her to positive thoughts like

“You can practise swimming without your float at the shallow end first, so you know you won’t sink without the float.”

“Think about how you can operate the laptop and find the spot where you last stopped at the movie.”

This exercise hopefully helps Lauren (and all of us who are more pessimistic in nature) to build new pathways in her brain. From default negative thoughts to thought-out positive thinking.

Pray for us. Thanks.