Good days and...not so good days

Two Sundays ago was challenging.

It was communion time in church. And the Sunday school kids come up to join their parents to communion. So Lauren and Luke trooped up to us. Kevin took Luke name tag from his shirt and proceeded to take Lauren's tag off too. Problem was, she wanted to take her own tag off. What followed was...a look of shock on Lauren's face, tears starting to fill her eyes and her expression (verbally) of "why did Daddy take my name tag off?".

Like on autopilot, I whispered to Lauren to "stop it!" or we will need to go out of the church to talk.

What happened next, I did not expect.

She looked at me. And said, very angrily, "Mummy...Daddy makes me happy...Luke makes me happy...but you...make me MAAAD!". Whoa!!! And I wasn't even the person who took her tag off without telling her...!

Then on Friday, Lauren asked me to teach her how to cook. We were watching Junior Masterchef, Australia - great show!

So we roasted a chicken - Lauren peeled 1 1/2 potatoes - more like she laboured over them! She lovingly marinated the chicken.
Held a knife for the first time to cut brocolli. One of her favoured vegetables.

On Sunday morning, she made pancakes. She stirred the pancake mix, and learnt how to watch the pancakes in the pan and flip them over!

And the best part, she tucked in happily into both her roasted chicken and pancakes.

Like I said, good days and...some really trying days.

Meng Huat - my brother in law - wrote me something really encouraging.
_____________________________________________________________________
Dear Wee Leng,

Thank you for sharing the story about Lauren saying "Daddy makes me happy, Luke makes me happy but YOU MAKE ME CRAZY."

I remembered when I was young, I wanted to grow up real quick and be an adult. Now that I am an adult, well it is not much fun and I want to be a kid again.

Part of being an adult is that you have got to do things that you don't want to do but have to do.

Hmmm, if you were a kid, you would say, Hey! that's what I have to do as well esp the studying part.

Well, the difference is - a kid has his/her parents forcing him/her to do what ever the kid has to do.

As an adult you have to force yourself to do the important things or face the consequences and if you are a parent you have the additional task of forcing the kid to do what the kid has to do (Note : while I believe that kids need some forcing, how much /to what degree is the question. check out the book causing a storm in the west and the debates that it is generating ie. the asian tiger mum!)

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2011/01/07/AR2011010706543.html

On the plus side we see the cultivation of habits of success and not the development of habits of failure, we see growth- like luke sleeping on his own. Like lauren's ability to express her feelings.

So keep up the good job of being good adults / parents.

mh
___________________________________________________________________________
Thanks bro!

Difference between Love n Discipline

Kids need to know that even when they r being disciplined, that parents love them and dont love them any less.

Lauren forgot her homework, again. 2nd time in a week. 1st time, she was let off with a gentle reminder not to do it again,with ideas how to remember her homework. Today, i was upset. So she was not allowed any tv nor computer the rest of the evening. She was clearly upset and was whining and crying. I realised how it was affecting her when she fnally said that ' i'm going to turn mummy's pix away because she is so angry with me. She does not love me.'!!!!

I sat down with her. And explained that i love her...when i am upset and when i am happy. That does not change at all. And she was happy after that.

She read her book. Then we read the faraway tree together. The night ended well.

I am reminded today that children need yhe aasurance of love even when we discipline them. They are two separate things.

What happens if you don't take care of Mother Nature?

Another wise reply from Luke.

Mother Nature needs help. What would Luke do?

Boy! Can Luke talk and talk and talk. But Weeleng and I think he's the cutest of them all.

Luke grows up

For months now, Luke would come to me at nite to ask me to accompany him @ bedtime. Kevin and I remind him he is a big boy. And big boys go to bed on their own. Doesn't happen. On Sunday, Kevin explains to him that he is such a big boy now - he showers himself, he dresses himself, etc etc and Luke nods, thinking about what his dad is saying. Nite time. Luke asks for his milo nightcap. Kisses us goodnight, and agrees to go to bed - without us with him. 3 nights now. He's independent.
29 march 2011. Luke is 4yrs 5 3/4 months old. He indeed is a big boy now.

Friends

I used to really really dislike Power rangers wen i was a kid. Now i like it...a bit la. Why? Because it has really helped Lauren n Luke find a common interest. They watch the shows tgetr. They quiz each other. They search for it on u tube. And they sing the songs tgthr.

It's helped them enjoy each others co for other stuff too. Like playing w each othr at the playgrd slides yest evening.

Birthday

Lauren is 9 this year. Well 8.. If i consider her birth month. November. Anyway. She was invited by her classmate, sue-ann to her birthday party at megakidz. Megakidz is a giant indoor playground in a shopping mall. Lauren likes these big playgrounds. No problem there. Our (hers, kevin and mine) worry...the super loud noises at birthday parties. Her last memory of a school friend's party at a shopping mall was not so great. That was 2 yrs ago.

Anyway we both prepped her. Picked the birthday present together. She helped prepare the birthday card. And she was quite excited when saturday, the party day, came. Everything started well. Wished sue ann happy birthday.handed the present over. Friend brought her to play. Ok. Then kevin remembers we need to preempt her on the party agenda. What happens, when. Next thng we notice, lauren seems really down. She wasn't crying. She seemed fearful. We got her aside and asked her what happened. After a while she told us 'the clown is going to throw a pie in my face!'. She was serious about it ok. I didnt know to laugh or cry. I was relieved at least. Kevin n i assured her tha was NOT going to happen. It took at least 5x before she believed us. Phew!

The rest of the party went well. Lauren sat further fromthe clown but she said that was her fav prt of the party.the noise was still too noisy for her. Kevin sat w her and she closed her ears when it was very noisy.

Lauren is coping well. God is wonderfully good.